Just when I thought things were getting better, they got a million times worse... I'm pushing people further and further away... I cannot deal with being around people... I feel like there is a monster trapped inside my head, and with each day a little bit of him gets out... I cannot take this shit anymore... I am way past a breakdown, that's already happened... I cannot fuckin take it... I don't know what to do, who to turn to, who to talk to... No one understands... I'm never happy, and when I am it is fake just so people don't get even more suspicious... I've let myself go, not caring about what I look like... I hate who I have become and there is no one to blame but myself... And that makes it hurt even more.... I always feel sick, I cannot eat, the thought of food makes me nauseous... If only I had a way to change this...

This is affecting my life... and I hate it....

... I just don't know what to do anymore...

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