Things have been better, well some things got better and other things have gotten worse... I'm a little more calm, and I don't get pissed over stupid shit and react like a total lunatic and wanna kill people. That's changed, now I sit there and listen to people talk shit to me and yell at me, and I am as calm as ever. That my friends makes them even more pissed off, and I never lose my cool. That is the exact shit that used to make me mad, when people didn't feed into my negativity and now well I learned to do the same thing when others act how I did... I am still a bitch, that how not changed, well OK maybe not as bitchy... I still know how to get to people and piss them off,but I don't think that will ever change. That is a quality I was born with... And it will never leave me...

He and I have been fighting ALOT, well more like he gets mad and I sit there and listen to him bitch. That pisses him off more, I even take it farther by saying shit like "damn keep yellin at me baby, you're turning me on" and then he shuts up cause I eventually start laughing... It's more a power struggle that anything else... We are both hard headed as hell and geminis, and those 2 things do not mix. Especially when no one is willing to back down, but now I just ignore it and let it go. It's easier like that, but he knos damn well he is not in control and never will be. I won't back down and I won't let my guard down... I won't let someone disrespect me....

I wish Stephen still lived around here, I miss him so bad... Like yesterday I was driving down garrett road and remembered the time we walked from 69th street to the apartment at like 2am and I had to piggyback Stephen, until we got to the 7-11 then I just got mad and walked by myself... Little things like that make me happy, because the memories is all I have to keep me sane and happy....

I should be putting clothes away, because it looks like a laundry basket threw up all over my room... And then I gotta do laundry... I think the laundry is gonna get down, and the clothes are just gonna get folded neatly into a basket so it atleast looks nicer.... eeeeeppp!

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