So my defense mechanism is causing nothing but more problems... I like to push people away, and not let them get close - well that came to bite me in the ass big time... My moodiness/bitchiness is causing problem upon problem... I need mood stabilizers, big time... Before I would smoke a cigarette and that would help me calm down a little, and now it doesn't do shit but make me more angry because I have extra time to think about shit and it just gets worse... This is not cool at all ....

People get on my fuckin nerves tho, I believe I was made to live on an island by myself... Until that day everyone that comes in my path will feel the wrath of bitchiness. I can't help it... dammmmmmit

I hade a nice long conversation with a friend today, and damn it needed that... She told me what I needed to hear... And coming from a friend made it easier to swallow... always nice to have friends to talk to... simple shit like that seems so hard to do now.. i don't kno

OK time to get ready for bed...

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