Times are rough, I've got alot of shit to deal with... Sometimes I just wanna throw my hands up and say fuck it... But then the responsible part of my brain kicks in... Alot of things are bothering me, I do a damn good job of hiding things - but lately it isn't working so well... I'm so close to having a breakdown... But I cannot do that, because in my eyes that is weakness and I don't deal with that well...

My one friend is having problems with her boyfriend, and she calls me to talk about it... I don't mind because that's what true friends do... But when I have problems it's like I have no one to talk to... Well that is a lie, I have never tried to talk to anyone I'm too ashamed... Once I get over that, I'm sure things might be a little easier... Only time will tell...

And the whole Stephen thing, I don't wanna talk about that because that's just to hard to even think about... The thought makes me cry... I can't do it...

I'm gonna take the easy way out and go to sleep, my only escape really...

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