As I sit here and think, one thing in particular just won't leave my thoughts.... I cannot remember the last time I laughed or smiled, and actually felt that emotion... I kno it is selfish of me to even think this, because of all the great things and great people in my life... I see people everyday that have it way worse than me, but their faces still light up and they get that little sparkle in their eyes when they smile... I've lost my light, and it kinda bothers me... I'm way more on the edge than I've been before in my life... By that I mean, on the edge of completely shattering into a million pieces... I don't wanna get to that point, but it's feels like I have no control... I don't like puzzles, I don't like putting things back into theeir right place...

Ignorance is bliss... I wish I had even the slightest bit of ignorance in me... Things would be easier, yea. But that's just not who I am ...

Everyone in life has a story to tell... It's amazing the things you learn from listening to people... I've met homeless men and women with college degrees, families that turned their backs on them - simply because they have a mental illness... And they just could not pull it together, or find help to get back on their feel... The world is cruel, it's ashame sometimes... People like that interest me, I find myself talking to the "forgotten ones" alot... Everyday at work I hear people tell me about their live, I listen to them... Even if I only have a few minutes with them... It makes people feel good, maybe I should start talking to people... Starting with strangers is probably the best place to start...

I'm just typing everything that's been on mind... Nothing that I do, say or type has a pattern to it... My mind just wonders...

I wish it wasn't so cold, I really wanna go sit somewhere and just write... Maybe the cold would make me even more focused...

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