It's been too long, but not long enough... You can only bury your emotions for so long, but no matter what they still come back... Sure it's hard as hell, but it's just something you gotta get thru... I try to justify some of the fucked up things I've done in my life, and all the people I hurt...But there is absolutely no way I can do that... I still feel like shit, and just when I think I've got the words to say I get speechless and it just fucks with me even more... I don't like to hurt people, but whats done is done...There is always next time...

It feels like I've lost someone that is so important to me, and that there is nothing I can do to bring them back... It's like I've stopped trying to get them back, but it still hurts... I will never give up on this, and I will do anything to get them back... We'll see how things go, they don't look too good - but I shall see....

I'm gonna go sit outside in the cold and smoke, that makes my mind absent for a little while...

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